Alice's Song
by The Nurse
Summary: A collection of songfics that remind me of Alice. Please! RR! Chapter 5: Stereo, by: The Watchmen!
1. Bring Me To Life

Bring Me to Life  
  
An Alice Songfic  
  
"How can you see into my eyes, Like open doors? Leading you down into my core,  
  
Where everything's so numb."  
  
It was raining again. It always seems to rain, these days. I stare out my window, watching the tiny droplets pitter against the window, then fall down in little beads. I shiver, its so cold in the asylum. Its after hours, and I should be asleep, but I just cant..  
  
"It fills your soul.  
  
My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold Until you find it there and lead It back. Home."  
  
Not with the dreams I have. Everytime I close my eyes, I can see them, my friends, from Wonderland. Calling out to me. They need help, I can feel it, something's happening to their world, and I want to help them. I really do, but I'm scared.  
  
"(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me) Call my name and save me From the dark, Bid my blood to run Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become."  
  
Thunder crashes. It's time, I know it. Time I stop being afraid, being scared. I cannot last one more night, one more day, with their screaming in my head. With their pain on my mind. I'm going back. Tonight, I'm going back to Wonderland. I repeat this over and over in my mind, hoping it will reassure me. It does, as I soundlessly lay down on my bed and close my eyes.  
  
"Now that I know what I'm without, You can't just leave me. Breathe into me And make me real" "Bring Me. To Life."  
  
I feel my world, my reality, slipping. My whole bed seems to fall out from under me, I quickly reach for my stuffed rabbit in fear, but he is no where to be found. I'm falling now, down the rabbit hole once more. I snap open my eyes, and see darkness all around me. My body twists involentarily, and I land softly, on unseen ground. But what is that? There, ahead of me! It's a looking glass!  
  
"Frozen inside without your touch  
  
Without your love, Darling, only you are the light among the dark."  
  
I run as fast as I can up to it, finally slamming against it. Rubbing my cold hands over its smooth surface. Even though it was just an object, nothing more, I was so happy to see it. But, something was wrong. Why wasn't I able to pass through?  
  
"(All this time, I can't believe I couldn't see, Kept in the dark, but you were there in front of me)  
  
I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems, Got to open my eyes to everything  
  
(Without thought, Without a voice, Without a soul)  
  
Don't let me die here, There must be something more.  
  
Bring Me To Life"  
  
Slowly, I lowered to my knees and sat, crying softly. It seemed I had ignored Wonderland, my only escape, so long, that it doesn't want me anymore. Even worse, what it Wonderland has already been destroyed? No, I wont let that happen. I look up, and suddenly, shadows pass on the other side of the looking glass. Yes! There is something there! Wonderland! I get up and take a few paces back, readying myself. Then run full force at the mirror.  
  
"(Wake me up) Wake me up inside (I can't wake up) Wake me up inside (Save me!) Call my name and save me from the dark"  
  
"Bid my blood to run, Before I come undone Save me from the nothing I've become  
  
Bring Me To Life"  
  
I hit the glass, momentarily waiting. For a second, the surface is smooth, then, a long cracking sound fills the air. It is followed by many more, then suddenly, the looking glass shatters completely, and I fall through. Small, glittering pieces of glass fly and float everywhere, like a dazzling blizzard. None of them cut me as I fall through the golden frame of the once beautiful mirror, then fall into the depths of the darkness below me, uttering a few last words...  
  
"Wonderland, where are you know?"  
  
"(I've been living a lie, There's nothing inside.)  
  
Bring Me To Life."  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own American Mcgee's Alice. Nor do I own the lyrics within this fanfic, they are copyright Evanescence. Thank you. 


	2. Are You Happy Now?

A/N: Please excuse my lack of italics and bold, it shows up when I do this on Microsoft word, but not when I send it here. Anyways, thank you for reviewing my last chapter (the very few that did) and please review this one. I LIVE OFF THEM!!!!  
  
Are You Happy Now?  
_________________________________________  
  
Another day. Yes, another day, of staring out my window, watching the seasons change, watching the doctors and nurses pass by my window, trying not to look at me. They get to go home, I don't. Its not fair. The door on the other side of the room creaks open, and my doctor walks in. I'm not sure of his real name, but I don't really care. I never really talk to him. He's mean, I hate him, always asking the nurses to inject me with that, and hide this in my food, his medicine makes me ever so sleepy. But I wonder, what does he really think of me? Whats he really like? Does he have a family?  
  
(Now, Don't just walk away, Pretending everythings okay, And you don't care about me.)  
  
If he does, he sure doesn't act like it. I change my gaze from the window to him, and stare. I stare a lot these days, its fun. I like how it unsettles people so. Its unsettling him, I know. He takes out his notebook and starts scribbling away, about nothing in particular, I guess. I wonder whats in that notebook.  
  
(And I, Know its just no use, When all your lies become your truths And I don't care...)  
  
He's so quiet. I watch him wander around the halls, and watch him through the "mirror" on the side of the room by the door. He never really talks to any of the nurses, when all the other doctors gabble all day about insignificant things. He's very solitary, but in a way, Im sure he's very smart. None of his elixirs (which he makes himself, that's a feat) has killed me yet. Now now! Stop it Alice! I try to tell myself this, I really shouldn't be praising the one that continuously makes me sleep. Sleep is the enemy. But I wonder still..  
  
"Doctor, Are you happy?"  
  
(Could you look me in eyes, And tell me that you're happy now? (Could you tell it to my face, Or have I been erased, Are you happy now?..  
  
Are you happy now?)  
  
"Excuse me?" He asks.  
  
I guess I must have startled him, judging from his expression. I never really talk, this is the first time in awhile. My, it feels strange, to talk after such a long time! But still, my curiosity is eating my inside, among other things, and I must satisfy it.  
  
"Are you happy, doctor?" I ask again.  
  
(Look, To call it was to take, And left me with an empty place, And you don't care about it..)  
  
Oh well, he's not answering. I suppose that means he's not happy. Well, I don't care. He's done so many nasty things to me, I'm sure he deserves what unhappiness he has. The bastard, now, I'm angry.  
  
(And I, Am giving up this game, And leaving you with all the blame, Cause' I don't care..)  
  
But I wonder... is he happy? What he does to me, does it please him? Does he take pride in seeing me suffer? No, I think not. The last patient he was working with died, (or so I've gathered) I think he feels guilty. He says nothing to any nurses, but I can tell, he feel guilty. He feels many things, I know, but says nothing. Like me, the only emotion I've been able to release is anger, and afterwords I feel guilty.  
  
"Are you happy? Why aren't you answering me? Is it because you aren't happy?"  
  
(Could you, Look me in the eyes, And tell me that you're happy now? Could you tell it to my face, Or have I been erased , Are you happy now?  
  
Are you happy now?  
  
Do you really have everything worked? You can only say something you'll regret,  
  
But you cant run away from yourself..  
  
"Why wont you answer me?"  
  
(Could you look me in the eyes, And tell me that you're happy now?  
  
Come on, Tell it to my face, Or have I been replaced, Are you happy now?)  
  
(Would you look me in the eye? Could you look me in the eye? I've had all that I cant take, But I'm not about to brake, Are you happy now?)  
  
Then, he finally answered me.  
  
"No, Alice, I'm not happy."  
  
(Are you happy now?)  
  
Thanks again. Alice belongs to American Mcgee, And the song "Are you Happy Now?" belongs to Michelle Branch. 


	3. The Red

A/N: Sorry for not updating this for so long, no ones been reviewing, so I had kinda lost hope on this. But I've decided, who cares if you're not reviewing, this is fun!  
  
The Red  
___________________________  
  
(They say freak, When you're singled out, The Red, It filters through..)  
  
I slowly turn the corner, and stare at the scene in front of me. There are two circular walls on each side, making it seem as if it was some kind of room. In the middle, there is a shallow platform, and surrounding it, are at least six card guards. They stared at me, with cold blank eyes as I walked to the platform, and climbed up onto it. It was obvious what they were planning to do. Try to kill me. That's what they're programmed for, but I wont let them. I wont.  
  
(So Lay Down. The threat is real. When her sight. Goes Red again.)  
  
I tear out my blade, then leap off the platform, straight at one guard. I tear him straight in half, as I land on top of him. He is nothing but a mangled body once I hit the ground. I stand atop him, triumphant. Two more come rushing at me, and I quickly duck as they stupidly swing their axes. While I'm down, I cut the one on the right's leg off. He immediately falls, and I walk upon him, grab him by the hood, holding up his head, then tear his head off.  
  
(Seeing Red Again.Seeing Red Again.  
  
This Change, She won't contain, Slip away, To clear your mind,  
  
When asked, Who made it show, The truth, She gives into most.)  
  
For a minute, I do nothing. I was so angry, and now I felt slightly woozy. I stand still for a moment, chest heaving. Then I whip around and throw my knife at the guard that was sneaking up behind me. It wasnt a very good through, I didn't know exactly where he was. It seared across his face, tearing at his eyes. He stumbled around for a bit, then lowered to the ground, holding his eyes as blood dripped through his fingers. The knife didn't land very far away, so I run and pick it up, then stab him in the chest.  
  
(So Lay Down. The Threat is real. When her sight. Goes Red again.)  
  
The third guard comes running at me, and I quickly dispose of him, reflexes like lightning. Then, the fourth. I wait for the two last ones.  
  
(So Lay Down, The threat is real, When her sight, Goes Red again,  
  
So Lay Down, The threat is real, When her sight, Goes Red again)  
  
Finally, the both come running at me. I make the first stab, but the fifth one is quick. He pulls put his spear and blocks my knife, sending tiny gold sparks in the air. My knife is not enough against the spear, and eventually it is thrown into the air, landing far from where I am standing, and me, unable to reach it. I have no other weapons, all seems lost.  
  
(SeeingRedAgainSeeingRedAgainSeeingRedAgainSeeingRedAgainSeeingRedAgain,Seei ngRedAgainSeeingRedAgainSeeingRedAgainSeeing RED!!!!!!!)  
  
The two cards loom over me, winning smirks on their faces. But once again, in a heartbeat, I grab the fifth ones axe and pull it from his hands. Still in the same instant, I whirl the axe in a great circle, (For it was very heavy, and I couldn't really control it) And cut them both in half. It is over.  
  
I drop the axe, with a great clattering sound. I stand still for a moment. Looking around at the carnage around me. Any other time I would have looked at this and cried, running to my mother, then burying my face in her dress. Now, I have no choice, and no mother's dress to run to. I will do what I can to save my friends, even if that means hurting them in the process.  
  
(They say freak, When you're singled out, The Red, It filters through.)  
  
I think its obvious I don't own American Mcgee's Alice. You can tell that by looking at the name. Also, I don't own the lyrics to "The Red" They belong to Chevelle. 


	4. Weak and Powerless

Weak and Powerless ____________________  
  
"Tillin' my own grave will keep me level. So I'll jam another dragon down the hole. Driven to the rhythm and the echo of a solitary Siren One that pushes me along and leaves me so.."  
  
I stared down at the barren wasteland. This isn't Wonderland, it can't be, it isn't. A look of shock frozen on my face, I begin to walk down the rocky slope.  
  
"Desperate.. Ravenous.. So weak.. And powerless.."  
  
I passed by doors, hundreds of them. Some of them were huge, towering over me, and some were small, too small for even a mouse. Echoes of dilapidated machinery bounced off the walls and into my ears, and steam drifted out of holes in the ground, the white wisps looking similar to crying faces. Small insects scurried and ran at my feet, then excreted violet blood when I stepped on them. The fact that they actually screamed made me cringe.  
  
"Someone feed the monkey while I, Dig in search of China, White as Dracula, As I approach the bottom."  
  
My heart was beating faster than ever before, I felt weak. I let out a huge breathe from my mouth, searching for usable air, but finding nothing. I watched as a school of slugs scurried across the wooden planks in front of me, each one bigger than the last, dangerous looking spikes protruding from their backs. I turned away, looking though one of the doors.  
  
"Desperate..  
  
Ravenous.. So weak.. And powerless.. Over you."  
  
Inside, a child sat on a maggoty old bed. The bed had towering black iron headboards, with no covers. The walls were padded. It was an asylum in there. Ridiculously long black centipedes scurried between the two beds, and still the child sat, not making a sound. Something brushed up against my legs, and I looked down, startled. It was the Cheshier Cat, unlike I've ever seen him before. He was so thin and sickly looking, I could easily see he had one paw in the grave already. But still he grinned. Unable to strain his bony neck enough to look up at me, he stared at the ground, yellow eyes glowing.  
  
"Little angel go away, Come again some other day. Devil has my ear today, And I can't hear a word you say.  
  
Promised I would find a little, Solace and some piece of my mind, Whatever just as long as I don't feel so.."  
  
Tears ran down my face, I couldn't take it any more. This isn't Wonderland, this is hell.  
  
"Desperate"  
  
I turned away from him and ran. I ran as fast as my body would allow me, tearing across the rickety planks.  
  
"Ravenous"  
  
I kept running, even when I came to a bridge. The bridge, like everything else in this wretched place, was old, and didn't look usable at all. I ran across it anyway.  
  
"So Weak.."  
  
I got to about the middle when the bridge snapped. The ground fell out from underneath me, and I fell through the air, colours and memories flashing before my eyes.  
  
"And Powerless.."  
  
***  
  
My eyes snapped open. I lay in my asylum bed, staring at the peeling paint on the ceiling. Just a dream, nothing more.  
  
"Desperate..  
  
Ravenous.. So Weak.. And Powerless.."  
  
I don't want to go back to Wonderland anymore.  
  
"Over you."  
  
I do not own the song "Weak and Powerless". It belongs to A Perfect Circle. I don't own Alice either, cause' if I did I wouldn't be sitting at my computer surrounded by hot pockets writing about it. 


	5. Stereo

Stereo  
  
(My life is a stereo  
  
How loud does it go?  
  
What songs do I know?  
  
What ever happened to my plans?  
  
Whatever happened to the life I thought I had?)  
  
I did not plan for this. I did plan for this, but, not for this. I did plan to get out, but I did not plan to get in, I mean. I stand in the middle of my room, it is dark, the lights are all off. Nobody is here, not even outside in the halls. I'm staring at my window. I'm clenching my fists. I'm scared. I'm going to leave now.  
  
(My life is a stereo  
  
Kinda' cheaply made though,  
  
How bad does it show?  
  
Whatever did become of all my friends?  
  
Whatever happened to the likes of all of them?)  
  
I slowly begin to walk toward the window, placing my hands on the cold bars. The window is very high, I have to stand on my toes to see through it, and even then, I cant see much. I see the starlit sky, but that is all. I clench the bars, squeezing them till' my knuckles turn white, then pull with all my might. Nothing.  
  
(My life is a stereo  
  
Turn me on and lets go.)  
  
I pull again harder. Nothing.  
  
(Turn me up louder.)  
  
I bring my legs up, so that I am holding on to the bars with my weight, and my legs are pushing against the wall. I lean and pull at the same time, with all I have.  
  
(I'll scream as loud and clear as I can scream)  
  
POP! The bars come unloose, and pop out their places. I quietly place them on my bed, delighted. I walk back to the window, then pull myself up.  
  
(And if you like  
  
What you're hearing please hang on to me.  
  
I like being here,  
  
But I'm all hooked up wrong.  
  
So hang to me.)  
  
I finally see the outside, and try to hold back a scream. The building was huge, towering hundreds of feet. Below me, the building stretched on, the bottom becoming swallowed up in darkness. I gasp, and look above me, twisting my body in the other direction. I can see the top! That is where I must go.  
  
(I'm one of a million  
  
One of a million  
  
One of a million)  
  
I crawl out my window, balancing on the ledge. I slowly sidestep away from the window opening, pressing my back and my palms against the cold stonewall. I edge along the side, only two more windows to go, I can do this. I carefully make it past the windows, then stop. I have reached a corner.  
  
(Please hang on to me).  
  
I grab the corner with my closest hand, getting as best a hold I could on it. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. I turn slightly. Then leap from one side of the building to the other. I hold onto the corner, with my chest against the side. I can feel the wind blowing against my back, my breath hot and panting. My heart is beating faster than ever.  
  
(My life is a stereo  
  
I'm phased but, you know.  
  
Sixty cycles hummin'  
  
Whatever happened to my friends? Whatever happened to the likes of what I had?)  
  
I see something beside me, on my left. A pipe! I grasp hold of it, then begin to climb.  
  
(And my life is like..a candle..  
  
Oh I'm so afraid of new technology,  
  
I'm in the rainy shadow,  
  
And I don't want to be.)  
  
I climb for what seems like ages, the wind getting harsher the higher I climb, blowing the fabric of my dress everywhere. My dress! It has changed from my ugly white uniform to the pretty silk blue one I had so many years ago. I finally reach the top, pulling myself over the side. The roof is dark and cold, the wind is high. Rain begins to pelt down, drenching me instantly. I look over the side and see nothing. I am utterly alone, even more alone than when I was in my cell.  
  
(Oh I'm so afraid of,  
  
What's to come for me)  
  
What if no one ever finds me?  
  
(I'm in the rainy shadow,  
  
And I don't want to be..)  
  
Hot tears begin to fall from my eyes, stinging them. I slowly stand up, wavering a little as I seek balance, then walk to the side. I stare out into the abyss for eternity, then step onto the ledge. I close my eyes.  
  
(Life ends as a stereo.  
  
Pack me up and lets go.  
  
Take me anywhere,  
  
But please don't think of leaving me behind  
  
Whatever happens to you, ).  
  
I hold my arms out, then let my self fall forward. Finally, I am free. (I'll get on just fine.) 


End file.
